Summary: A cat is loose in Hakone Academy's clubroom. It's up to Arakita to capture it an ensure the club doesn't end up keeping a pet after Toudou, Izumida, and Manami take interest in the idea.
ONODA: Original concept by Watanabe Wataru.
MAKISHIMA: TV Anime “Yowamushi Pedal” Drama CD.
ARAKITA: “Off the Road.”
[ARAKITA comes riding in]
ARAKITA: Seriously, this rain needs to stop.
IZUMIDA: Did you find it, Toudou-san?
TOUDOU: Izumida! There it goes!
[IZUMIDA and TOUDOU scream]
ARAKITA: What’s going on?
ARAKITA: Don’t make such a fuss over a cat that snuck into the clubroom.
IZUMIDA: But Arakita-san, that cat is surprisingly swift.
TOUDOU: Yeah. It even took my hairband in the blink of an eye… Arakita? What are you taking out the mop for?
ARAKITA: [swinging the mop] All right…
IZUMIDA: You can’t be… Wait! You don’t need to resort to violence…!
ARAKITA: Just be quiet.
[ARAKITA taps the broom handle on the ground]
IZUMIDA: It came out…
[ARAKITA grabs the cat]
IZUMIDA: Wow! You grabbed it with one hand!
ARAKITA: Here, take your hairband back.
TOUDOU: Wahahaha, what a relief! [fixes his hair] Now I’m back to my usual hairstyle. Thank you, Arakita.
ARAKITA: No need to thank me over that.
IZUMIDA: Arakita-san, you’re very skilled at handling cats.
TOUDOU: Indeed. You seemed quite accustomed to it. I was impressed too.
ARAKITA: Hah? It’s common knowledge, that’s all.
IZUMIDA: Common… is it?
TOUDOU: Apparently. You’re lacking common knowledge, Izumida.
ARAKITA: So are you, Toudou.
TOUDOU: Me too?!
IZUMIDA: This cat has a rather strange fur pattern.
TOUDOU: Yes. Its body is pure white but both its ears and the tip of its tail have brown stripes. Seems rather rare.
TOUDOU: It meows a lot, too.
IZUMIDA: Maybe it’s hungry. Ah, I have protein in my bag.
ARAKITA: Hey, don’t do anything stupid. If you feed that to it, it’ll die.
IZUMIDA: Eh, really?
ARAKITA: Some foods are fine for humans but are poisonous to cats.
TOUDOU: Is that common knowledge as well?
ARAKITA: OBVIOUSLY. You ought to know that much.
IZUMIDA: Oh… I’m sorry. But Arakita-san…
IZUMIDA: You know a lot about cats.
ARAKITA: HUH?! I told you, it’s common knowledge!
TOUDOU: Hey, here’s a simple solution! We just have to buy canned cat food from a store nearby.
IZUMIDA: I see! They have those in convenience stores. They come in tuna or chicken tenders or the like, and seem to be a great source of protein. I’ve actually been wondering about them before.
ARAKITA: Why are you concerned about the nutritional benefits of canned cat food?
IZUMIDA: Eh? Doesn’t it concern you, too? I’ve heard that they’re being processed sanitarily these days to even be made for human consumption… Let us try it out one time.
ARAKITA: You plan to eat it? And don’t feed it anything. Leave it alone. It’ll be a pain in the ass if it decides to stick around.
IZUMIDA: Is that so?
ARAKITA: I keep telling you…
TOUDOU: Now, now. Why don’t we keep it as a clubroom pet then?
IZUMIDA: That’s an ingenious idea!
ARAKITA: Who the hell is gonna look after it?
[MANAMI enters the clubroom]
MANAMI: Good morning~
TOUDOU: Yo, Manami.
MANAMI: Huh? What are you all doing?
ARAKITA: Manami, you shouldn’t be saying “good morning” when it’s after school.
MANAMI: [laughs] Ah, right. I was sleeping earlier in the classroom, so it just slipped out.
ARAKITA: Little Alice in Wonderland, as usual…
MANAMI: Ah, a cat!
IZUMIDA: Be careful, Manami! It’s more vicious than it looks!
TOUDOU: Yeah. It’s only been friendly to Arakita so far–
MANAMI: [hugs the CAT] You’re really cute. Hey, that tickles! –Huh, did you say something?
IZUMIDA: Uh, no.
IZUMIDA: So, what should we name it?
ARAKITA: Name it?
IZUMIDA: We’re keeping it here, aren’t we?
TOUDOU: Oh, right. A name, huh? What would be a good name…
IZUMIDA: You leave me no choice. [zips his jersey] I will think of a wonderful name. [breaths in] Abs…
ARAKITA: Why did you zip up your jersey and start breathing deeply?
IZUMIDA: Eh, well, I’m thinking of a name for it, aren’t I? So normally you’d–
ARAKITA: NO ONE DOES THAT. Why are we even discussing this anyway? No name, no food, got it?!
IZUMIDA: Abs… [unzips up his jersey] I understand…
TOUDOU: Now, now, Izumida is sorry. Forgive him, Arakita.
ARAKITA: That went for you too, you know.
TOUDOU: Me too?!
MANAMI: [gives food to the CAT] Eat slowly, okay?
TOUDOU: You go at your own pace, as always…
IZUMIDA: He gave it a bowl of rice to eat…
ARAKITA: Manami… you little…
TOUDOU: Well, what’s the harm? With the weather we’re having, let’s think of it as sheltering him for the time being and letting him lounge around.
MANAMI: Thank you. In that case, if you insist so much, I’ll lounge around for the day.
ARAKITA: WE DIDN’T MEAN YOU.
ARAKITA: [opens the door] Here, the rain’s stopped. Go back home.
IZUMIDA: We don’t have to kick him out that readily, do we?
ARAKITA: If it starts thinking of this place as its home or a place for food, it’ll upset its owner.
TOUDOU: Which means… that cat is owned by someone?
MANAMI: Now that you mention it, it wasn’t wary at all when I offered it food.
IZUMIDA: I see…
TOUDOU: So that’s why you told us to leave it alone.
MANAMI: [riding his bike] He said a lot of cold things, but Arakita-san cared about that cat more than any of us today… Hm? I don’t remember seeing a poster like this here before. “Lost Cat”? “A white cat with striped ears and tail has been missing the past three months–”
IZUMIDA: [enters clubroom] Pardon my intrusion. Izumida here.
TOUDOU: Oh, Izumida!
IZUMIDA: Toudou-san, you’re here early today. –What’s with that mountain of books?! [picks up a book] “How to Care for Cats, Advanced Level.” This one is “Monthly Issue of Kitty and Me, Self-Taught Knitting Fashion”… and “I Am a Cat” by Natsume Souseki…
TOUDOU: I had to do something after Arakita said all of those insults yesterday about how I didn’t know how to handle a cat.
IZUMIDA: Which means… [turns around]
IZUMIDA: I knew it…
TOUDOU: Yeah. It’s all Manami’s fault for feeding him.
IZUMIDA: And that’s why you have all these books?
TOUDOU: Wahaha, naturally! I will put all of my energy into improving, even for the sake of an animal!
TOUDOU: If you neglect to polish your skills, you’ll never improve, Izumida.
IZUMIDA: Pardon me, but if that is the case then I have no fallacies this time.
IZUMIDA: Take a look at this! Here is what I thought of as I strength-trained last night without sleeping.
TOUDOU: Hm… what’s this?
IZUMIDA: [coughs] Thank you for asking! What you’re looking at is a muscle training menu for cats!
TOUDOU: Cats… muscle…?
IZUMIDA: That cat’s posture has been bothering me the whole time yesterday. By completing this menu, it’ll straighten out his bent back!
TOUDOU: It can… straighten his back…?
IZUMIDA: Yes! Ah, I also thought up a menu that would tone the owner’s muscles along as well, so don’t worry.
TOUDOU: “Cat and Abdominal Muscles”?
IZUMIDA: Ah, that’s a catch copy. Having that will help to keep them motivated.
MANAMI: [comes into clubroom] Good morning. Oh, you two are here early.
ARAKITA: Jeez… Why did I even stop by here? I ended up buying it. What a pain in the ass.
TOUDOU: …And that’s what happened! You think that’s horrible too, right, Arakita?!
ARAKITA: What is.
TOUDOU: Hey, were you listening to me properly?!
ARAKITA: I was, but… So you’re saying that Manami left to bring that cat back to its owner, right?
IZUMIDA: Yes. The cat came back here today, so Manami went to the address that was on the poster he found yesterday to bring him back.
ARAKITA: See, what did I just say?
TOUDOU: BUT THAT’S THE POINT! I went out of my way to borrow these books and learn how to handle a cat, and Manami took him away without me getting a chance to try them out!
ARAKITA: I don’t care.
TOUDOU: You’re so cold, Arakita! What do I do with this loneliness with no other place to go?!
ARAKITA: I said, I don’t care.
TOUDOU: …Very well then. If that’s how you’re going to be, I’ll test my recent knowledge on how to be affectionate on kitties on you instead! Stay still!!
ARAKITA: What the fuck are you doing?! Don’t crowd around me, you pain in the ass!
TOUDOU: Don’t move! Nothing wrong with being rubbed like a kitty!
ARAKITA: Stop– What– Let go of me!!
TOUDOU: …Huh? What’s this hard, bumpy feeling?
ARAKITA: You bastard–
TOUDOU: A convenience store bag?
ARAKITA: Ahh, that’s–
IZUMIDA: What’s that?
TOUDOU: What’s in here? [opens the bag] What? Cans?
IZUMIDA: Let’s see here… It says “chicken tenders” on it. –Ah, this is canned cat food!
ARAKITA: You idi– GIVE THOSE BACK!
TOUDOU: Why did you buy these, Arakita?
IZUMIDA: I see… You really are a kind person after all, Arakita-san.
ARAKITA: What the fuck are you talking about, Izumida? I bought canned food to eat for myself and got the wrong ones–
IZUMIDA: Now, now, you should be more honest. There’s nothing to be embarrassed about.
ARAKITA: What? Who’s embarrassed?!
IZUMIDA: You bought these cans for me, didn’t you?
IZUMIDA: You know, since I mentioned yesterday that I wanted to try eating it. Isn’t that right? In that case… [opens a can saying “Abs!”] Thank you for this meal!
TOUDOU: …Is that true?
ARAKITA: FUCKING GO RIGHT AHEAD.